Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Back from the...

BLACK ABYSS .....
 Yes, see that dark hole of black at the very end...that's where I've been. Not for the first time, but definitely one of the worst trips.  I'm talking about the black hole that comes with the disease of depression, the hole that tries to eat you up and tear you apart. This trip, I didn't even know I was on the train until after many many months had passed. A trip for which I didn't even buy the ticket.  Such is the disease...sneaky, underhanded, nasty and unrelenting. It is a thief and a liar.

Depression is not new to me. I have had this brain disease almost all my life. And yes, for me it is a disease not an illness.  Illnesses you fully recover from. Disease not so much...you just treat it. You try to learn to live your life with it. My disease is as serious and real as any other whether it be Diabetes, MS, Rheumatoid Arthritis  or ALS or any hundreds of others. My disease is debilitating, costly, and has no cure. Now comes my soapbox speech :)

Why, oh, why is Depression not more fully recognized by society as a serious disease? Why is society not better educated that this disease is NOT just the blues, that it is NOT a sign of a weak person, that it is NOT less of a disease just because I don't use a wheelchair, have crippled limbs or some other visual outward symptom?

My disease is real and I wish society understood that better. My disease is this.....you know how your car engine needs oil to run correctly...well, our brains need an oil too...it's a chemical called serotonin and just like oil helps the engine to run smoothly, serotonin makes your brain run smoothly, to function properly, by helping the millions of neurotransmitters(the wires of your brain)to make the correct connections so that the brain functions properly. My brain does not make hardly any serotonin, no oil so to speak. I can't make it make more, I cannot control how much it does or does not make, I did nothing to make my brain stop making it...it just is what it is.  Medication to help your brain make serotonin does help. But it's not a cure by any means. And it's not as simple as take this pill for the next 50 years and you'll be just fine. Oh, no, never that simple. Because the pills stop working, your body gets too used them and the serotonin making declines, stops and back into the abyss we go.

When you have had this disease as long as I have, you learn to recognize when the meds stop working. This time I didn't. Why? Because instead of going down hill with overwhelming, uncontrollable emotions, I got PHYSICALLY ill. Honestly, I thought I was dying and it wasn't from depression. It began gradually with 2 hour extreme hot flashes, blurred vision, constant nausea and diarrhea, bones that ached and pained beyond xtrastrength  painkillers, moving on to extreme physical exhaustion, breathlessness, pounding racing heart, extreme brain fog, constant ringing ears and on and on and on....like I said, I thought I was dying ... and I didn't associate any of these symptoms with depression. By the mid august, I could no longer work, could not longer keep house,could longer safely drive, could not even keep up a conversation. One day, collasped  in a heap on the sofa, covered in cold towels, under a fan on full blast, trying to survive another killer two hour hot flash, my light bulb moment occurred. On TV came the commercial that says..Where does depression hurt? It hurts EVERYWHERE. Thru my hazy mind it clicked...I HURT EVERYWHERE. That ad saved me. Within minutes, I had a Dr's appointment and I think I cried for two hours in relief with the knowledge that I wasn't dying....it was just that my meds had stopped working.

Now, maybe someone out there is wondering "WHY is she writing all this?"  This is why...I want everyone who shares this disease to know that when your meds stop working, you might not experience sudden emotional decline as our Dr's teach us to look out for.  For the first time ever, in many years of taking meds for this, things took a 180 and my BODY got sick and went downhill, not my emotions and mental wellness. I want people who have this disease to be aware of this and to not suffer for months like I did.

As soon as that med. was out of my system, all my physical ailments went away. I feel so much better. I am working to get my stamina back. Each day the black abyss gets a little bit further away. I know it's going to take a while to recover from this trip but recover I will. And as I do, I hope to be back here alot more, stitching and quilting, joking and hanging out with you all!

I have some things on my agenda....like this....
 a massage, never had one, always wanted one; and this,

yoga, always wanted to try, just never made time.

I turned fifty this year and I think it's time...time for me.

Thank you for hearing me out.
God Bless and Happy Stitching,


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

My World Today...

In my province, today we mourn.....

The Globe and Mail added 4 new photos.
2 hrs · 
The funeral service for Moncton's fallen Mounties is underway now. Watch the live stream here: http://tgam.ca/ECzp ‪#‎RCMP‬

Stetsons rest on the caskets of the three slain RCMP officers, Const Dave Ross, Const. Douglas Larche and Const. Fabrice Gevaudan at a regimental funeral in Moncton, N.B., Tuesday, June 10, 2014.
Stetsons rest on the caskets of the three slain RCMP officers, Const Dave Ross, Const. Douglas Larche and Const. Fabrice Gevaudan at a regimental funeral in Moncton, N.B., Tuesday, June 10, 2014.
K9 dog Danny, sniffs the stetson of his partner, slain Const. David Ross’ during the funeral procession for the three RCMP officers who were killed on duty, at their regimental funeral at the Moncton Coliseum in Moncton, N.B. on Tuesday, June 10, 2014.


K9 dog Danny, sniffs the stetson of his partner, slain Const. David Ross’ during the funeral procession for the three RCMP officers who were killed on duty, at their regimental funeral at the Moncton Coliseum in Moncton, N.B. on Tuesday, June 10, 2014.
The Canadian Press









Friday, May 30, 2014

Things I Love

SUNSHINE! We finally had some the past two days and temps in the '70's...and more tomorrow...I'm almost giddy with the thoughts of it.  

Put me in a mood to post some pics of things I have found on the internet over the past year...I apologize for not keeping track of where they came from:








Tuesday, May 27, 2014

I'm Back, what's new?

Finally, I think I have figured out why my I could not load pictures to my blog for the past several months. I had to switch from Firefox to Chrome, which of course is the best, for blogging. 

It's been a crazy month of May. We had to put our sweet little Louie kittie to sleep. He took sick all of a sudden and after two weeks of trying to make him better, we finally had to let him go. We are heartbroken and miss him so much. He just loved to be babied and we obliged him :) It's a very empty bed at night without him. 

Then, May 2, I fell down the stairs and did my leg up but good...NOT!! I ended up with deep tissue/muscle and bone bruising. It's just been the past three days that I can stand on it again and quilt...so very frustrating.

And then, on May 14, my dearest and beloved Aunt Evelyn passed away. A month of tears it has been here but brighter days ahead. Does anyone have any sunshine they can send me???

God Bless and Happy Stitching :)

Monday, April 7, 2014

Good Weather

In the Maritimes, we have one sure way of knowing that spring has arrived.  The temp is up to 44F, we have 6 foot snowbanks and people are wearing shorts!  It's true lol :) And, I do have my shorts one, some windows open...still can't hang clothes on the clothesline yet cause the snow is still too high.

But now, I have Maxine's problem:) LOLOL





Happy stitching and God Bless! ..now where did I put those razorsPhoto: Time to get out the hedge trimmers. Yeah, I haven't shaved my legs since November.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Winner!

That was an amazing hop of flags on a stick....so many beautiful flags, so much inspiration.

I put all the names of the commenters in a basket and hubby pulled the winner of the Notebook cover.
The winner is nlcalendar, who said "Love your flag. It will be so nice when you can display it on the lawn. Thanks for the giveaway."

Congratulations!

Thanks to everyone who left such wonderful comments. Each and every one made my day:)

Happy Stitching and God Bless:)

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Thursday 27, My Flag

As we are in the midst of "crippling" blizzard (honestly, that's how the news people stated it lol), and the lights have been flickering, I figured I had better post my Flag on a Stick today as there is no guarantee that we will have power later or tomorrow. The wind is really fierce and being as we live in a heavily tree'ed province, it's not unusual for the trees or large branches to come down and take out power.   SO, WE ARE GOING TO PRETEND THAT THIS IS THURSDAY, MARCH 27, MY DAY TO WAVE MY FLAG!
Of, course, for most everyone reading this, it is actually Thursday...hope you are not confused yet :)

Thanks so much to Ms. Thearica for hosting and cheering us on, and to Madame Samm for the blog hop idea. And a big round of applause for our Sponsors, Flags on a Stick,  and Flag Outlet .

Here's my flag! I absolutely love it. I am and not ashamed to admit it lol! It turned out much better than I thought it would. It measures 12.5 x 18. My flag hanger is buried under 3 feet of snow so I had to lay it out on the floor :(
My back...some fabric that I had with quilting notions and words on it, and my hanging sleeve is there at the top but it is hard to see as it blends in.
A close up look...
My process....I knew from the first that I wanted my flag to represent the fact that I am a quilter and stitcher. I spent weeks just thinking how I could effectively do this, what elements were important enough to me to go on the flag, what kind of a look I wanted to go for...bright and cheery or country folkart; and finally, what would the final construction process be for joining the front and backing.

After several weeks of thinking and decision making, I knew four things: I wanted country colors, a spool block, a crow, and needle and thimble. Could I fit all these elements onto my flag?

Out comes the drafting paper:
I think I changed the shape and size of that spool block at least 4 times before it felt right. I let the sketch sit for a few weeks, coming back to it to see if I still liked it. Mentally, I re-arranged a few things.
Then, to start pulling fabrics to audition:
I knew I HAD to have red and that went into the spool. Funny enough, lots of blues here but they really didn't end up playing major parts in the design.
First, I made the spool block and attached it to the grass and flower bottom. Then as I started to place the applique elements around I realized that I wanted their placement different than my sketch.  A girl has the right to change her mind, eh?! lol That's where the rick rack suddenly came into the picture. And this is Vintage Rick Rack...I collect them and even have a vintage Rick Rack Box to store them in.
Look at the price..29 cents!
To put my front and back together, I fell back on an old sewing staple from the "80's...see, there's no such thing as an outdated stash lol, eventually, you will find a use for it :) I used Pellon Heavy Duty Wonder Under Fusible to join the back and front of my flag. I wanted something really stiff so that the flag would have a better chance of staying down. I store my fusibles in plastic ziplock bags to keep them from drying out and pulling away from the paper.After fusing, I machine blanket stitched all around the outsides edges of my flag. I like it..I would do it again.
Well, if you have patiently read this far, you deserve a chance to win an award lol. I have this cute little notepad cover to give away. If fits in your purse and is so handy for writing down all your to-do's.

To enter, just leave me a comment, YOU MUST LEAVE ME A WAY TO CONTACT YOU IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT! will pull winner at the end of this blog hop which is april 3.

I really enjoyed taking part in my first blog hop with Madame Samm. If you haven't done one yet, go ahead and sign up! Well....what are you wait'in for lol!
Please go visit those who are also waving their flags today!

March 27th

Bumbleberry Stitches

Quilted Delights

Red Quilts

On the Banks of Frog Creek

Words & Stitches

K and S Sweets and Stitching

The blizzard is raging here, total whiteout conditions. Please Lord, let the power stay on!

God Bless and happy Stitching :)